Standing Up For Our Kids Part 2: Mom Talk
Moms are asked to weigh in after an overwhelming response to last week's column.
Last week's column, "Standing Up For Our Kids," struck a chord with many moms. My inbox has been full of messages from women who could relate to condescending men.
I hate to point the finger at doctors, because they certainly aren't better or worse than other professions. Nor is my one story indicative of the entire medical practice. However, women have told me horror stories about their experiences having children over time. What I have heard is not pretty.
For example, a friend who is now a grandma said that her labor was excruciating. No surprise, she swore like a trucker. (As did I, by the way, with my son, who rode my spine all the way out.) In her case, the doctor chastised her for the foul language. He apparently felt he shouldn't be talked to that way.
She said she reached out over her belly to smack him but couldn't get a hold of him. Instead, she yelled that he should try giving birth and see what comes out his mouth.
Another woman told me that to this day she is bothered by something that happened over thirty years ago. When she woke up from her anesthesia, a man was next to her bed asking personal questions.
He was surveying older women who gave birth. The mom said she felt taken advantage of because she was still foggy, and unknowingly answered all his personal questions.
My girlfriend's son is battling an extreme disease. To add insult to injury, she has battled the insurance companies who refuse to answer her questions because her husband holds the policy through his work ... she's just the mom.
These are just a few examples. Women of different generations have been coming out of the woodwork telling me their stories. It's as if this arrogant male attitude were a social norm that we, as women, are still expected to tolerate from time to time. Nobody is talking about it.
Moms, if any of this rings a bell for you, please post a comment below. Let other women hear your stories. Give yourself a voice.
There is strength in numbers. Please don't let me be the only one to hear what you have to say. Talk to each other. Let this be a forum for discussion.
It takes guts to stand up to someone who is supposed to be "an expert," or who is supposed to be "in charge." No, it is not everyday. Nor is it every man. Yet it still feels like a sucker punch when it happens.
It is a lot easier to speak out for ourselves and our kids when we know we are not alone.