Healthy Parenting or Voodoo Witchcraft?

It always amazes me when I talk to people about caring for my baby.

I never expected it to be such a controversial issue! In fact, it is so frustrating how society views healthcare, breastfeeding or food choices that I have stopped talking about these things with others. It is troubling how ignorant and thus intolerant some of the most vocal have been.

Our son, Liam, is nearing 16 months. I am proud to say that he — knock on wood — is as healthy and happy a child as I have seen. He has never been on antibiotics. And although he had some ear irritation with teething, he has never had a full-blown, screaming ear ache. He has caught two viruses and laughed through both of them.

So why are other adults so vocally critical of the decisions my husband and I have made in his care? We have had deep arguments with family and strangers alike about these three subjects.

First of all, we have defended breastfeeding, and not just because it is free. We were lucky enough to receive incredible education about breast feeding. Personally, I give a lot of credit to God and Mother Nature for the power of breast milk. It is liquid gold.

Our doctors and nurses repeatedly said that the longer a baby nurses, the stronger he is through life. There isn't enough long-term research, in my opinion, about the benefits of nursing. However, what we have learned is that breast-fed babies have reduced risks of all the major illnesses, like cancer, diabetes, heart disease and more.

Plus, when mom gets sick, she naturally produces antibodies that flow to the baby as a preventitive medicine. I have full faith that God knows what he's doing. No amount of expensive formula could ever come close to the benefits of the real thing.

Secondly, I am a big fan of homeopathic medicine. As I have mentioned in other columns, Liam is a patient of Dr. J Pediatrics, an office that offers homeopathic options. Whenever Liam had issues of teething or cloudy ears, we would pump him up with micro-doses of pellets either diluted in a syringe of water (as an infant) or crushed up with a mortar and pestle (as a toddler).

He has never needed penicillin. Not ever. Not once. The only prescription he has ever had to fill was on vacation when he caught a stomach virus and was vomiting. In my life, I have only met one other child who was as healthy! Homeopathic remedies are über diluted, so the very nature of them cannot hurt a baby. You cannot overdose on homeopathic. So with results like Liam's, why not try it?

Third, we are selective about how much refined sugar and crap we feed our son. Childhood obesity is a serious, but preventable issue. In fact, despite medical miracles that are happening every day in this country, our life expectancy in the US is decreasing due to overwhelming childhood obesity.

I am proud that my son eats asparagus, zucchini, peas, carrots, and whole wheat bread. He will sometimes eat processed cheese, but he prefers Gruyere and cheddar. He can't get enough blueberries or cinnamon. He gets plenty of sugar in his bananas and kiwi. His breakfast routine usually involves time with dad and a bowl of oatmeal. His main drinks are low sodium V-8 or water. It blows my mind when parents tell me their kids only eat white bread or they won't eat vegetables. I think, "Stop giving them a choice."

All of these points are home-run success stories, in my opinion. So why is my blood boiling as I type this? I guess it is because I am down right angry about the all-too-common response I get from people when I tell them, "No, Liam doesn't eat candy." "Yes, I am still nursing." "No, I am not going to run to the doctor for a prescription."

At what point has our society gotten so bad that a mother has to defend the right to give her child vegetables instead of junk food?

Here are some argument examples I have had with family members.

Just last night, I had to find four polite ways to repeat that we were not going to give our tired toddler a french fry. The fourth time, I apparently failed.

Another example is that Liam's first solid food was home-grown asparagus cut fresh from the garden. He loved it. Loved it loved it loved it. So why was I told by a different family member that I owed her an apology when Liam gets a stomach ache? He didn't. And I didn't.

Another example was when Liam was eight months old. We celebrated someone's birthday and I was asked how I could eat cake in front of my baby without giving him some frosting. My answer was that the longer he goes without experiencing pure lard and sugar, the healthier he will be. My thought, though, was that I am the adult, he is the baby. That is how I do it. I was told that I am depriving him. Depriving? At eight months? I thought, yes, I am depriving my son of a life of obesity. I am OK with myself.

Equally troubling are the responses I get when I tell people how long I nursed him. People have been trying to get me to quit nursing since Liam was four months old!

Surprisingly, the women have been the worst. I have been told everything from, "It's a liquid diet" to "It's just weird."

With Liam, it became part of his morning routine and that's all. I have not been a tap on demand. My husband and I had decided that if we made it through nursing the first year, we would be thrilled. On his birthday, the doctors told me keep going if Liam wants to. It can only help. It cannot hurt. In fact, every professional I spoke to including his pediatrician, my OB, pediatric nurses, and child psychologists and development specialists, have all told me again and again to keep going, as long as possible. So we did.

I realize that the nursing vs. formula issue is an explosive one, and that women need to decide what is best for their families. I never considered myself a die-hard anything. Although I nursed, we also supplemented with formula while he was young. That was most often the case when dad fed him, when he was at Grandma's, or if I had an extra glass of wine.

As for the healthcare arguments, one time I had a dispute with another mother who said that homeopathic medicine is witchcraft. I spat out my water and laughed. I didn't mean to. I apologized. But holy Hannah, that was funny. 

I guess my time living in Europe had a big impact on my view of what is considered healthy. People there do not automatically write scripts every time you sneeze. If you felt a cold coming on, Nonna made a pot of soup, or roasted beets, or concocted some other vitamin-enriched solution. And it worked!

Over there, the pharmacist could diagnose and recommend all kinds of things. Once, I had a UTI in Paris. Armed with a picture book and a dictionary, I trotted into the pharmacy. Whatever it was she gave me worked like a charm. I was peeing orange for two weeks. These experiences are why I was thrilled when friends and family highly recommended Dr. J for Liam. Doctors Bruno and Spomenka Jercinovic have a more worldly view of treating the whole patient.

And I am lucky enough to have married a man with an animal science degree. His knowledge of biochemistry has provided him a successful career taking care of all kinds of beings, mostly the four-legged kind. He understands better what the doctors are saying about all homeopathic medicines. 

My feathers don't get ruffled when my little guy occasionally eats something I wouldn't ordinarily choose. That's life. And it's a grandma's job to spoil the kids.

Also, it is easy to misread the ingredients label on a box of whatevers. That is all going to happen. But who needs drive-thru when I can nuke up a hand full of frozen veggie medley in a splash of low sodium broth? Twenty-five cents and a minute later, the kid's happy!

What irks me is when we have so much information at our disposal about quality living, quality food, quality healthcare and I still have to defend basic choices. I mean knock-down, drag-out arguments kind of defend. I am not leeching the child; I am feeding him vegetables.

I guess our choices are working. Liam is doing just great.