Naked Uncle Takes Kids for a Walk on the Wild Side: OMGPD

Spitters, fighters, weepers and a doctor who really liked sex. Here's what we learned this week in the annals of crime-n-shame.

Uncle Willie: Police found a naked man "running with children" on the streets of Joliet Thursday afternoon. The kids told cops their uncle was "acting weird" when he took them on a walk and began disrobing and tossing his clothes (and theirs) into garbage cans.

> On Joliet Patch

Spitfaced: A Bolingbrook man was "spitting mad" when he ran from cops responding to a domestic disturbance, then challenged his pursuers to a fight Thursday night — and then spit in a cop's face.

> On Bolingbrook Patch

Foul-Mouthed Fun: A patron with a potty mouth at the Oak Lawn Chuck E. Cheese, told to hold her tongue and stop cursing in front of children, decided that instead of leaving she'd stage a floor show and mix it up with an off-duty cop. Stephanie George, 25, punched the cop in the neck as he tried to escort her out of the children's fun emporium.

> On Oak Lawn Patch

Full-Bodied Foulup: The Cook County Medical Examiner briefly let the parts of a victim of a train fatality in Palatine go separate ways to different funeral homes. A new employee was at fault.

> On Palatine Patch

Why New Zealand? You don't really hear much about Nigerian scammers getting busted by the law. Maybe because they're in Nigeria. But not this one. A Nigerian man living in Crest Hill who ran an auto sale scheme bilked his unwitting victims out of more than $10,000, police said, as he posed as a New Zealand oceanographer.

> On Joliet Patch

Rules Matter: A Romeoville man who hid his dead wife's body for 10 days in his house after allegedly burying a claw hammer into her skull more than three years ago says he should be let go because cops didn't read him his rights.

> On Romeoville Patch

You Can't Hide Those Cryin' Eyes: Go look at this one just to see the booking mug. Smooches.

> On Joliet Patch

Dr. Love: A pediatric neurologist who placed ads on Craigslist suggesting his "good-looking, fun" self would swap drugs for sex wound up in the arms of an undercover cop. He finally pleaded guilty in federal court. One Patch commenter says, "Ew, he should get extra time for trying to tell people he's good looking."

> On Oak Park Patch

A Little Hiccup: A Northbrook man was cited for driving under the influence after his car rolled onto the lawn in front of police department headquarters. Convenient for all involved.

> On Northbrook Patch

e-Toke: Five freshman in Elmhurst face possible expulsion after they were caught using e-cigs to smoke liquid THC, their principal says.

> On Elmhurst Patch

Breathe Uneasy: Oswego cops stopped a speeding car of teen-aged girls and were told one was having trouble breathing. That's why they were speeding. So the cops called in paramedics. And you can guess what happened next.

> On Oswego Patch

With Age Does Not Come Wisdom: A cop saw a 67-year-old Northbrook woman driving and yapping on her cell phone. After he pulled her over, she claimed her elderly mom was having heart pains and was very ill. And you can guess what happened next.

> On Northbrook Patch

Also, You May Want to Read:

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j March 29, 2014 at 09:56 PM
wheres Deerfield?
PAT FETTA March 29, 2014 at 10:21 PM
I think that these parents have to start being held accountable for who they leave their children with. I'm talking about these stupid mothers that leave their precious children with their good for nothing garbage boyfriends that they move into their homes and then they become a babysitter. These women have to know these men are dangerous and brutal. They always get off the hook as they have more kids at home that the system cant find another place for. I hope you all rot in hell mothers. STUPID.. STUPISD..STUPID MOTHERS. Its your own fault..
Adam West March 30, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Does anything happen in Darien anymore?! I never see any articles about anything happening in Darien, the Lion's Club pancake breakfast, the armed robberies at the gas stations, the 75th St. construction, city council budget, anything Darien related! How can you call this the Darien Patch when there is nothing about Darien in. Every other town or city has a Patch site that has articles related to their town. We get lazy editors who just copy and paste from other news sites.
Done March 30, 2014 at 07:17 PM
You don't have a lot of crime in Darien. Thank your lucky stars.
Dennis Robaugh March 31, 2014 at 12:13 AM
@Bambi: OMGPD is a feature that recounts some of the more unusual crime stories in the Chicago-area suburbs. It's appeared weekly in your Deerfield Patch for about 2 years. @Adam West: I will email you directly with more information about Darien Patch, one of the Patches in the region that has been without a full-time editor for the last year.


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