Monday, June 11, 2012
If belly laughs and sing-alongs are any measure of a movie, this one knocks it out of the park for kids.
There is no more joyous noise on the planet than the sound of 100 kids laughing together. I had forgotten about that in the 20 years that have passed since I worked at Covenant Harbor in Lake Geneva, Wis., where I realized a well-placed pie in the face was more humorous to kids than any Iran-Contra barb I could conjure up. But the sheer happiness of unified juvenile belly laughs came back to me quickly during Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, which opened this weekend to great acclaim, judging from the thundering reception it received Saturday morning at the Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall movie theater. Likewise, the entire theater chanted along at top volume to Chris Rock’s Afro Circus audio snippet, played heavily during previews to the …
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
"The Chernobyl Diaries" follows the formula but still delivers.
In The Chernobyl Diaries, viewers are forced to answer the proverbial question, “Would you rather die from a pack of angry wild dogs, from injuries sustained while running through a nuclear reactor that suffered a horrific meltdown, or from the psychotic, nuke-addled residents that live near that reactor?” Back in the go-go mid-'90s, a coworker and I found an adventure travel company that offered thrillseekers the chance to climb Devil’s Tower, that monolithic, chimney-shaped mountain thingy in Wyoming memorialized in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. We were going to climb it and get up on the top and play Wiffle Ball. I’m glad we never made it, for if we’re to believe the adventure travel postulates presented in The Chernobyl Diaries, …
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
The Dictator is offensive on most levels, but still enjoyable.
Any casual filmgoer has seen the previews for The Dictator for a year now. Those previews do a good job in extrapolating some of the film’s funnier bits (Sacha Baron Cohen as Aladeen shooting his competitors during a state-sponsored Olympics) while leaving the more outrageous humor to the patrons that actually go see the film (sometimes, previews spotlight the funniest parts of the movie). The Dictator had most of the audience chuckling at some points, certainly not the belly laughs that The Three Stooges elicited a few weeks ago, but some good howls nonetheless. Cohen plays Aladeen, the ruthless, bumbling ruler of a North African nation on its way to developing a stockpile of nuclear weapons. He travels to America to address the United …
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Johnny Depp delivers a memorable, Van Winkle-esque performance
Has Johnny Depp ever turned in a poor performance? If so, I’ve never seen it. Whether he’s channeling Keith Richards (Pirates of the Caribbean), Hunter S. Thompson (The Rum Diaries), Ed Wood or even Edward Scissorhands, Depp always turns in a wonderful performance, and in Dark Shadows he again demonstrates his remarkable acting prowess. Depp is easily the best actor of his generation, sporting the intelligence and depth of Laurence Olivier, the suave charm of Adolphe Menjou and the humorous potential of Charlie Chaplin. He does whore himself out with the endless Pirates train of sequels, but hey, in some ways, we all have to sell out somehow. Even Orson Welles pimped wine (when it was time). I arrived at the Cinemark Louis Joliet Theater a…
Monday, May 7, 2012
"Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" owns Shorewood.
It's three weeks at the top now for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. That's incredible! Shorewood loves this movie. We hope Redbox has their kiosks stocked with enough discs to keep the people of Shorewood satisfied. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol has been in first for so long, we don't even know what else there is to say about it. So we'll just get on with it and give you the list:
Monday, April 30, 2012
The latest "Mission Impossible" movie claimed a second week at the top in Shorewood.
Shorewood's favorite Redbox movie rental for a second week in a row was Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. And not only was it the most popular movie rental, the Blu-Ray edition came in at No. 8. That's unprecedented! Shorewood just can't get enough of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, apparently. Well, good for Shorewood. We told you last week what Dave Wilson thought about it. And we have to admit, we didn't see it ourselves. But whatever. We watched the first one and thought it was really boring. To tell you the truth, we never even liked the reruns of the old TV show when we were kids either. So that's on you, Shorewood. Here's the list:
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
This scarefest has a lot of charm.
I was prepared to despise The Cabin the Woods based on its previews, and until the last minute, I debated going to see Chimpanzee instead. I am so glad I took a pass on the primates and opted for the horror instead. There’s nothing subtle about Cabin (and subtlety is overrated anyway), but there’s enough humor and tongue-in-cheek (more like tongue-on-the-floor-after-it’s-been-chopped-off) pop culture references in this one to keep even the most desperate-for-amusement moviegoers intrigued. The premise seems like one we’ve all heard before: Attractive college-aged kids decide to escape for a weekend to a remote destination, enjoying their time “off the grid” and entertaining nature-based possibilities like swimming, off-road motorcycling …
Monday, April 16, 2012
"Immortal" was the hit movie in Shorewood this week.
You know what Redbox movie rental was tops in Shorewood this past week? Well, we'll tell you. It was Immortals. We haven't seen Immortals so let's throw it back to Redbox to see what they say about it: "The brutal and bloodthirsty King Hyperion and his murderous army are rampaging across Greece, demolishing everything in their wake with ruthless efficiency. Village after village falls to Hyperion's legions and each victory takes him one step closer to his goal: unleashing the power of the sleeping Titans to vanquish both the Gods of Olympus and all of humankind. It seems nothing will stop the evil king's mission to become the undisputed master of the world, until a stonemason named Theseus vows to avenge the death of his mother in one of …
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
"American Reunion" is a fun taste for gross-out enthusiasts.
Let us now praise Eugene Levy. The bespectacled, Ontario-reared comedian has humor chops to spare, and the most famous set of eyebrows of anyone that’s not named Marty Scorsese. His deadpanned, TMI-spewing character of Jim’s dad here doesn’t quite carry the show (Seann William Scott as the caustic Steve Stifler does), but Levy’s contributions are definitely memorable in this third sequel to the gross-out classic American Pie. Levy’s cut-each-other-off banters with son Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) in this movie are worth the price of admission alone. The two talk over each other like a pair of Vaudeville-era jugglers, to great comedic effect. However, based on the audience’s audible reactions, the slapstick, genital-crushing funny bits are …
Monday, April 9, 2012
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" has got Shorewood again.
So The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is Shorewood's favorite Redbox movie rental for a second week in a row. We at the Shorewood Patch don't know what this says about Shorewood, Redbox or movie rentals, but we do know that we read the book. It was atrocious. We also saw the Swedish movie. It was really bad. In fact, and we don't admit this to a lot of people, but we read the second book too. And guess what — SPOILER ALERT — it was horrible. But whatever. Here's the list: